Normalcy Has Left the Building
by Rawkin Paradox
Summary: It's a nice, quiet, peaceful day and all Xemnas wants to do is finish his paperwork. However, what starts out as a simple investigation of the peace ends up in shocking the Superior. Poor Xemnas, he should have never left his office.


**prompt** -- _[shock & music_  
**characters used** (_**abused**_) -- Axel, Demyx, Saix, Xemnas  
**categories** -- _general && humor_ [Saix  
**notes **-- _I have no real explanation for this. A role-play on a forum sparked half of this idea, abusing Saix was sparked by one too many cups of coffee.. My sick and demented mind found it quite amusing to torment Saix (because he's awesome and emo and really needs a hug) and thus, a drabble was born. I'm horrible at humour, but the thought made me crack up like a mad(wo)man. But yeah, this is horrible, so meh. But I don't care, because now it's done and over, and I can finish my challenge fic now that this plot bum is satisfied._  
**disclaimer** -- _I own nothing in this. I'm only abusing the characters because I love them...and the song because it's annoying._

* * *

**Normalcy Has Left the Building**

It was an ordinary, dull, plain old day in Castle Oblivion. Xemnas was glad for that. He had a mountain of paperwork to finish (_he was mentally kicking himself for procrastinating and enjoying one too many martinis with Saix and Xaldin_) and knew that had it been any other day, Marluxia would be bursting into his office whining about how Larxene had threaten his roses again. Said savage nymph would be trailing right behind him, kunai held firmly in her lithe fingers, broadcasting loudly that she did no such thing; it was the tulips she had been after, and it wasn't her fault that she couldn't tell them apart. Besides, she would argue, the garden was for the whole Organization to enjoy; it did not solely belong to Mr. Polly PissyPants. An argument would erupt, and he'd usually have Xaldin and Saix escort (_throw_) them out. Thank Kingdom Hearts that today was not one of those days. It was nice, quiet, peaceful.

He froze, his pen in mid-sentence of the report he had been writing. Peaceful? Quiet? Nice? He was worried. It was never peaceful or quiet, and seeing as they were labeled as the "bad guys plus one girl," they most definitely were not nice. He sighed, knowing that the peace had been too good to be true. Something was up, and Xemnas was determined to get to the bottom of it. He set aside his pen, carefully filed the half-finished report in the "Must Finish or Else" bin, and left the safety of his office. Strolling down the hall, he decided the first place to investigate would be the common room. He ran into Zexion and nodded a greeting. The poor Cloaked Schemer nodded back, a fearful look in his eye.

_Was that look because of me?_ Xemnas thought. It made him smile to know that he could still strike fear into his subordinates. He came upon the door to the common room and briefly paused. He listened closely; he could hear numbers eight and nine arguing inside. Curiosity getting the best of him, he opened the door and watched.

"You're being completely irrational, Axel. I mean, you could always just get another Gameboy," Demyx cheerily said, smashing his system's A and B buttons furiously.

"No! There will never be another Precious! She was the one and only for me!" Axel cried, crossing his arms defiantly across his chest.

"You know, instead of throwing it across the room, you could have simply peeled off the superglue. Then you could have turned on the switch and played with your '_Precious_.'"

"Never! I refuse to conform! Plus, Xigbar used like a whole tube on her! I could never have gotten that off. And don't you be mockin' my Precious! At least I didn't call it a name like Mr. Squirt."

"Hey now, Ax, that's where I draw the line! No one picks on Squirty!'

"You can draw? Since when? Drawing's not singing or playing the sitar," Axel shot back.

"That's it!"

Demyx snapped his Gameboy closed and threw a pillow at Axel.

"Pillow fight!" He declared, smacking Axel across the face with a fish-shaped pillow.

"Oh, how fishy!" Axel retorted, hitting him back with a cushion from the couch.

"That's cheating!"

Xemnas had had enough. Stepping into the room, he cleared his throat loudly. Axel froze, couch cushion pressed against Demyx's face.

"Uh, hey Superior. Finished with your paperwork?" he asked. A muffled sound came from Demyx, and his arms flailed wildly.

"Axel, remove yourself and the cushion from Demyx. Last time I checked, friends do not kill each other with pillows."

The redhead plucked himself off of his friend, replaced the couch cushion, and sat down in his assigned chair. Demyx, after taking several deep breaths, casting death glares at Axel, and the blue had left his face, took his seat next to Axel.

"Now, can someone please explain to me what happened?"

"Well, you see, Superior, it's like this: Axel and I wanted to play some video games. Axel wanted to play Grand Theft Auto, but Xaldin had already started playing that, so we were going to settle on Guitar Hero 2, but Luxord and Larxene beat us to it, and I'm no coward or anything, but I'm not crazy enough to go up against Larxene for anything, so we decided to come in here and play against each other on Pokemon –"

"And everything was fine and dandy until I pulled out my precious and found the on-off switch covered in a cake of superglue!" Axel cut in. Demyx glared at his friend.

"He was talking to me first! I was explaining!"

"IT WAS ABOUT MY GAME!" Axel fired back.

"I WAS THE ONE EXPLAINING!"

"ENOUGH!" roared one very tired and angry Xemnas.

Both nobodies folded their hands and bowed their heads.

"Sorry, sir."

"Now, Axel, you may explain, calmly, what happened."

"Well, we were coming in here to play Pokemon like Demyx said, and I walked over to my chair, got out Precious, and went to turned her on. I found her on switch covered in a cake of harden superglue. And XIGBAR DID IT!"

"Now Axel, you have no proof Xigbar did anything," Xemnas pointed out.

With an angry sigh, Axel walked over to the couch, pulled out a piece of paper, and handed it to Xemnas. Curious, he glanced at what was written.

_I did it, Axel.  
Ha! Ha! Ha!_

_Signed,  
Xigbar_

Xemnas sighed. His subordinates were childish fools. However, pulling pranks like this would not help them in their quest for Kingdom Hearts. He had to nip the matter at the bud.

"I will deal with Xigbar. In the meantime, you two are off on missions. Axel, you're to go to Halloweentown and Demyx, you're off to The Pride Lands," he ordered, massaging his temples. What had started out at a nice, peaceful day was slowly turning into a chaotic nightmare. He was answered by silence – no arguments that it was their day off, no complaining about their missions, no questions. He looked at the two, and saw they were frozen in horror.

"What? What is it?" he demanded. Demyx could only lift a finger and point behind him.

Wondering what could have frightened them, he turned around.

There stood Saix, dancing frantically like a maniac in the hall. His iPod was on full volume, and as the three nobodies watched in horror, he began to sing.

"_Saix is bringin' sexy back!  
The other members won't know how to act!  
Yeah! I'm bringin' sexy back!"_

Xemnas found his senses, marched over to his dancing subordinate, and jerked his iPod away. Saix froze, a look of embarrassment flooding his features.

"Just what do you think you're doing, Saix?" the annoyed and horrified Superior asked.

"Um, bringing sexy back?"

Xemnas groaned. It was going to be a long, long, long day.


End file.
